FOURTEEN NEW THINGS LEARNED IN APRIL!

1.Actually, I learned this on March 31, thanks to Reader Marjie: those tiny tangerines are called “Pixie Tangerines”, and many (all? prolly not) grow in Ojai.

2. DO NOT BUY THINGS ON THE INTERNET IN A HURRY! I got swept away by a good offer from Photo Affections that was about to expire, and I was so enamored with my iris that I ordered something that is just a waste of money—flat cards with no room to write instead of foldover cards. I thought I’d learned this lesson earlier, but nope, here I am again. Hmmm, I wonder if these fall into the category of Cruft. (See #4 on March Learned List.)

3. Have you ever programmed a complicated timer for a complicated irrigation system? It’s complicated. The fact that the directions use different words than the actual box (i.e. valve=station) further complicates a complicated situation. To add to the complications, many of the items in the box are not labeled so I keep forgetting which word applies to which knob/button/dial. But I think I have it figured out. Complicated, for sure. (Have I ruined the word “complicated” for you yet?)

4. There are friends in life who influence us deeply. Some friends are there for just a season or for a particular reason, but that doesn’t negate the marks they leave on our hearts, memories, and even habits. I have one such friend, a roommate for 2-3 years many decades ago, whose influence keeps appearing in multiple places in my life, in spite of only exchanging birthday cards (Can’t forget that because we share the same birthday). Recently we began a little bit of texting, and it is such a miraculous thing to be in instant touch, so special.

5. lagniappe lan-yap noun: a small gift given with a purchase to a customer. I’ve done this but didn’t know it had an actual word. I wonder how a customer would respond if I handed him a painting and said, “I’ve thrown in a little lagniappe for you.” The customer would probably say, “A what? Looks like a package of cards to me!”

6. When formatting and designing a book, it is prudent to order a single copy for physical hands-on proofing and viewing. Recently I could not make a purchased InDesign book design template work and in frustration, I downloaded a free template from the printing/publishing company. Author Louise Jackson and I were thrilled with the cover, but the interior of the actual book was just unattractive. So, I persevered on the temperamental template until I figured out how to bypass its idiosyncracies (well, whaddaya expect when it is from 2015 and so is my laptop, which can no longer be updated, because Planned Obsolescence is trying to bankrupt us all), and REDID THE ENTIRE BOOK DESIGN. It was worth the effort.

6. I read something in a fluffy novel that really resonated deeply with me, and I will plagiarize it here, making it personal: When I walk past Fernando, I “feel a strange longing that can only be described as a deep psychological problem; I seem to be locked in a prison of my own nostalgia.” Clearly I am a disturbed individual rather than a rational, wise, and mature 66-year-old. Sigh. Please be gentle with me. (Now I forget which book I got this from.)

7. You can make brownies without flour using black beans. WHAT? This is so weird that I had to try it. Here is the link to the recipe I used, chosen because it had the least sugar and the most cocoa powder: Black Bean Brownies. Decent, but of course boxed brownie mix with a handful of chocolate chips added to the batter are better. If you are curious, out of flour, can’t eat wheat, have black beans you don’t need, whatever. . . try it.

8. Life is complicated and if when something breaks, we have 2 choices: figure it out or replace/toss it. “Figure it out” = “just Google it”. But how? Type in the appliance number and see what appears. Try to figure out what part is needed, have a “chat” with “someone” for help, get the name of the broken part, try to match it to the list of parts, oops the part name is different from what the Chat Someone called it, get back in line to clarify the part name, order the part (if it is available), and then try to find someone who will call you back and then actually show up to install it. Who is designing all this? Young “hipsters” who are supposedly concerned about the planet/climate change/putting junk in the landfills? Life is complicated AND exhausting, because I am supposed to be painting, not waiting for my turn in a “Chat Request” line. (THE PART WAS $104 FROM GE AND $28 FROM AMAZON, in case you were wondering, and a friend/repairman replaced it for $100.)

9. I sent some watches to The Veterans Watchmaker Initiative, Inc. (P.O. Box 329, Little Creek, DE 19961) and SOMEONE WROTE ME A THANK YOU NOTE!! (I sent 5 watches, but the thank you said 4; I’ll let it pass.) Their website ticks like a clock—let not your hearts be troubled—At first I thought my laptop was about to explode.

10. Have you ever heard of a city named “Brno” or the country of Czechia? It was new to me, via my friend Elisabeth’s blog. She’s and her family are spending 3 months living and traveling in Europe, and her photos and information is terrific. The Czech Republic is now called “Czechia” and Brno is the 2nd largest city after Prague. The cities throughout her extended travels so far all kind of look alike to me; if I was doing such a trip, I’d be visiting the countryside and little villages, taking photos of barns, cottages, gates, fences, trails, roads, fields and streams. But I do love seeing the fancy architecture.

11. Sometimes it really helps to call for assistance. My MacBook Pro kept saying I was out of room, and Apple kept trying to sell me a larger “cloud” plan. (BUG OFF, I have an external hard drive and don’t need The Cloud, so there.) I called Apple for help, and after a few attempts, a supervisor did a screenshare with my laptop and discovered a bunch of useless and mysterious stuff slowing things down. It was thrilling to have it deleted, to see all the available space, and to have things working well again.

12. Egg doesn’t wash off once it dries on a wall. It also takes a few coast of paint to hide the shine left from the egg. I’ve heard it destroys the paint job on a car too. If eggs were still running around $7/dozen, maybe someone wouldn’t have wasted one on the Ivanhoe library mural.

13. I learned to use my Brother printer to scan pencil drawings. It isn’t big enough for most of my work, but it will help until I figure out another plan. Look at the difference in 2 scans of my drawing student’s artichoke picture; on the left is the Brother scan without any Photoshop touch-up and the Mustek scan is on the right (also no touch-up, duh).

14. I figured out how to add a page to the Store on my website. It’s called OTHER PEOPLE’S BOOKS, and it is where you can order any of the books I helped get printed, most of which are NOT on Amazon. My authors (and all authors unless you are like John Grisham or Danielle Steel) need help to sell their books. This is the only way I know to help them.